GONE? OR GONE!

I love to worship the Lord. Whether I’m home alone, out in nature, or in church, there’s something wonderful that happens when I cast my thoughts, concerns and fears aside and just lift my hands to the Creator of the Universe in awe and surrender. Although I know His presence is always with me, it’s during worship that I often feel the closest to God. It’s in worship that I often hear His voice the clearest.

During a recent Sunday morning service at church, while the worship team was singing the song, ‘Gone’ by Elevation Worship, I sensed the Holy Spirit directing my attention to the lyrics. Specifically, to the part of the chorus that goes: ‘Gone, Gone, now my sin is dead and gone’. At the time this occurred, I had my eyes closed as I was singing (I prefer worshipping this way because it helps me from getting distracted and allows me focus solely on Jesus). With the nudging of the Holy Spirit, I opened my eyes, stopped singing and stared at the words on the large screens that hang behind the worship team. I stared at those words over and over, ‘Gone, Gone, now my sin is dead and gone’. I’d be lying if I said I understood why He asked me to look at them. Having felt like I did what was asked of me and not hearing any further instructions, I closed my eyes and resumed singing. When the chorus came around again, I felt the Holy Spirit once again direct me to those same words. And this time He said, “When you look at those words, do you read the word ‘Gone’ with a question mark or with an exclamation point?”

The rest of worship was a mess. My thoughts were scattered all over the place. I struggled to praise God because I was distracted, trying to formulate a response to the Holy Spirit. And it wasn’t because I didn’t understand the question. I knew right away what was being asked of me – I just didn’t like the question. And there was no use trying to finagle my way out of it. The answer to God’s question should have been pretty straight forward. But the reason I couldn’t respond was because in order to do so (and do so honestly), I’d have to admit that I often use a question mark more than I use the exclamation point. And that's a big problem. You see, having accepted Jesus’ sacrifice on the Cross for the payment of my sins, and having confessed Jesus as my Lord, I know my sins have been forgiven (and that’s clearly what the Bible teaches us). Doctrinally, I know that God has “removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). And I know that God says, “I will be merciful and gracious toward their wickedness. And I will remember their sins no more” (Hebrews 8:12). And this should give me, and all Christians great comfort and freedom from fear. The issue here wasn’t doctrinal…but rather, experiential. What I mean is that I often know what the Bible says about a certain topic. But oftentimes, it’s a lot harder to live out those truths. I often struggle to accept God’s truths, more so when it relates to my standing in Christ when I sin. And I think it’s because I often think that somehow I’m the exception and that my mistakes are unique. And that somehow my sins of the past and any new future sins will be an issue to God. I also should admit that there are times that I wonder if God is disappointed with me. I know that I’ve often said to myself, “I shouldn’t have said/done that….because I know better”. I hate to admit it but this can and has often kept me in bondage to fear. Instead of experiencing the freedom that Jesus bought me when He chose to take my sins upon Himself at the Cross, I'm constantly feeling condemned that I'm not doing good enough. This condemnation is clearly not coming from God since we are told in Romans 8:1 that "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus". So where is this condemning voice coming from? There’s an obvious answer, and we’ll get to that in a moment.

Most people (including non-believers) are at least somewhat familiar with the Bible and what the importance of Jesus going to the Cross is – that He died for our sins. And that through this act of love, there is forgiveness of our sins for those who have put their trust in Jesus as their Lord and Savior. I’ve been really dissecting sin a lot lately, and wonder, am I the only one who maybe struggles with truly believing that my sins are gone…as in…FOREVER? Or are there others out there like me, who worry and become fearful that maybe God does remember our sins and that He will one day judge us for them? Am I the only one who sometimes thinks that when something goes wrong, its God punishing me for sinning? Is this why so many of us instinctively try to “be good” or “do good things”? Are we hoping to somehow offset the sin we commit? Now, for clarity, I’m speaking only to those who have accepted Jesus as Savior because anyone who hasn’t accepted Jesus as their Savior does not and will not have their sins forgiven. The Bible is clear about the importance of Jesus’ blood being the only way to be forgiven for sins: “In Him (Jesus) we have redemption [that is, our deliverance and salvation] through His blood, [which paid the penalty for our sin and resulted in] the forgiveness and complete pardon of our sin, in accordance with the riches of His grace” (Ephesians 1:7 – Amplified version). We can also look to Hebrews 9:22 which states, “Without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sins”.

I never answered the Holy Spirit during that church service. I suspect that was God’s plan all along. I think what He really wanted was for me to reflect and pray about it, rather than give a knee jerk response in the moment. These past few weeks of reflecting has really opened my eyes to just how much I struggle trusting some of the most important promises God gives us in His word. And I have been reflecting and praying about it…a lot lately. And this is where I have landed. Am I willing to take hold of God’s promises and live out His truth? And in doing so, am I willing to believe that I am totally forgiven of all my sins, that God remembers my sins no more and that not only won’t He bring them up again, but neither should I? That second part is just as important as the first. Because not only do we have to believe God won't bring up our sins, but we need to let them go as well. And replaying our sins over and over in our minds is just heaping condemnation on ourselves and it's keeping us in bondage. I brought up condemnation earlier and mentioned we’d get back to this topic, and here we are. The bible is clear that condemnation does not come from God, but from the Devil, to torment us. He loves to bring up our pasts, trying to convince us that God is unhappy with us. The Devil constantly wants us to live on eggshells, worrying all the time that we are not good enough and that God is mad at us. In the end, that’s really the issue at hand for me and others. We allow the enemy to put thoughts in our heads. So that begs the questions, whose voice are we going to listen to? The voice of truth from our Heavenly Father…or the lies of the Devil?

As I thought about all this, I started to think about what is written in 1 John 4:17-18. Here the Disciple John writes, “And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the Day of Judgment, but we can face him (God) with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.” Doesn't this just so perfectly sum up the difference between freedom of being forgiven of our sins vs the fear of punishment and being stuck in bondage?

I’m brought back to how this all began, which was the Holy Spirit asking me if my sin is dead and gone, with an exclamation point or with a question mark. I can continue to use a question mark, meaning, that I can continue to question whether my sins have been forgiven. And in doing so, remain a slave to fear and of future punishment, never experiencing total freedom from guilt and shame. Or, I can take God at His word. I can live out the kind of life that Jesus intended for me to have when He took my place on the Cross.

So today, I'm finally ready to answer the question. Because, if I were to truly believe, beyond a shadow of a doubt that my sin is dead and gone and declare it emphatically, (with an exclamation point), I know I would experience more freedom. I believe the lingering fear that I experience in my life is related to deep rooted lies that my standing with God is not as secure as it should be. I've lost too many years worrying that I am not good enough for God and that my mistakes disappoint Him. No, He's not mad at me. He's not at all disappointed with me. In fact, He saw all my sins and still chose the Cross. What a wonderful Savior! So now, it's time to take a stand and boldly declare God's promise! I will no longer allow myself to question if my sins are gone. And I want to challenge you to do the same thing. Let’s forge ahead, in freedom, trusting God's promise that our sins are indeed dead and gone...forever. And let’s declare that together, with an empathic exclamation point!

† Open up, let the light in †

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