ARE YOU WILLING?

This past Mother's Day I was driving along when I noticed a young man standing near a highway off-ramp with a sign asking for money. Since I was not exiting the highway and not in a good position to stop my vehicle, I used that as my justification to dismiss the man and continue driving. But then, the Holy Spirit spoke to me. "Stop and have a conversation with that man." I immediately pulled into the next parking lot which happened to be at Tim Hortons.

As I parked, I began to feel a little anxious. In order to speak with the young man, I would have to get out of my car and walk across a couple of parking lots and then cross the highway exit ramp. That seemed like a lot of work and truthfully, I didn't feel like doing it. Additionally, I had no idea what I was supposed to say once I got to him anyway. I debated the logistics of what God was asking but thought better than to say no to God. And even though God had only asked me to speak with the man, I wanted to show God how spiritual I was so I decided to take things a little further. Since I was already parked at Tim Hortons, I figured I'd go in and buy food for the man. A few minutes later I walked out with two sandwiches and bottled water. But then I started thinking about how the man probably did need money so I pulled $40 out of my wallet to give to him as well. Still unsatisfied, I walked back to my vehicle and grabbed a Bible that I had in the backseat.

So there I was, walking through two parking lots and across the highway exit ramp with $40 in cash, two sandwiches, bottled water and a Bible. Man, I was going above and beyond what most people would do and let me tell you, I was feeling pretty darn good about myself. What a generous Christian I was being. When I finally reached the man, I stood in front of him unsure of what to say. I was expecting God to provide some eloquent words so I could preach or something but that didn't happen. Instead, I think I mumbled for a few seconds and the words that came out of my mouth were something like, "Here’s $40 for your needs, here are some sandwiches and bottled water for your stomach...and...here's a Bible for your soul." Clearly not the best of introductions.

The young man looked at me a little confused by what I said but then accepted the gifts and said how appreciative he was. Then we stood there staring at each other for a few seconds in an awkward silence. I didn't know what more to say and was ready to walk away, thinking I had done my good deed for the day but the Holy Spirit reminded me that his instruction was for me to have a conversation with the man, something I had not yet done. I admit, I had never really engaged in a conversation with someone in this man’s position before and to be honest, I had no idea what to say or where to begin. In the past, I would simply roll down my car window, hand a few dollars to the person and go on with my day. So in an effort to appease God, I began by asking the man's name. He introduced himself as Tom and so I asked Tom how he ended up by the highway. He shared that he was a drug addict and it had cost him everything, including his home, and he now found himself homeless and living under the highway overpass. Tom talked about how so many people, especially his mom, had tried to help him but that he had wasted a lot of chances to get himself cleaned up and how he held on to a lot of regret over it. I also learned that Tom's mom had recently passed away, which I'm sure made our conversation a little more difficult since, as I mentioned earlier, it was Mother's Day.

As I stood there, the only thing I could think of was to share with Tom that I had also once been addicted to drugs. I shared a little about my past and how through the power of Jesus Christ, I was able to overcome my addiction. I talked about Jesus and all the things he had done to transform my life. Tom listened, though I wasn't sure if he was only listening to be polite because of the gifts I had given him or because what I was saying was of interest to him. I ended my speech by asking Tom if he knew the Lord and he said he did but that it "had been a while". I asked him if I could pray for him and he accepted the invitation. As I got ready to pray, Tom pulled his hands out of his coat pockets and placed them in front of me – as if to indicate he wanted me to hold them while I prayed for him.

Tom’s hands were shaking. I could tell he was nervous. Tom's hands were also dirty, extremely dirty. And I'm ashamed to admit it, but I didn't want to hold them. I looked back up at Tom’s face, unsure of what to do next and I could see the sadness in his eyes. And that was when the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart. "Tom doesn't think he's worth being loved anymore. He thinks nobody will ever want to touch him again. You gave him everything you think he wants but are you willing to give him the one thing he needs most...the touch of another human?" The Holy Spirit’s words pierced my heart. This young man was desperate to know he wasn't a social leper and yet I wasn’t willing to touch him and show him compassion. I dropped my head low and began crying.

God wanted to do something far greater in that moment than fill Tom's stomach with those sandwiches or Tom's pocket with money – God wanted to show Tom that he still mattered...and God wanted to show me what it's like to love like he does. By this time, tears were pouring down my cheeks but I managed to lift my head up and give Tom a smile. I tightly grabbed his hands and then I began to pray over him. I prayed that Tom would know how much his Heavenly Father loves him and how special he was to God. I prayed that Tom would be supernaturally healed of his drug addiction by the power of God and that there would be restoration in his relationships with his friends and family. After I finished praying, I thanked Tom for his time and walked across the highway exit ramp, through the parking lots and back to my car. And then I sat there in silence for several minutes crying.

I'm always amazed by how God doesn't ever waste an opportunity to teach me something. The encounter with Tom wasn’t just for his benefit, it was for mine as well. I started thinking about Jesus and how he constantly healed lepers and those with all kinds of illnesses. It was his compassion and love for the social outcasts of that day that drew the multitudes toward him. That is what it means to love like Jesus loves. I confess that I'm ashamed by how I reacted to Tom’s dirty hands. But I am so thankful to God for showing me a small glimpse into how he loves and for teaching me such a valuable lesson that day.

† let the light in †